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Don’t Go Through Life Angry at the World…There’s a Better Way

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Regardless of Your Situation, Being Angry Will Only Make It Worse

We all find ourselves in situations that make us mad. The question is what are you going to do about it?

Gary Christian took his first step straight into his own dark, cold, hellish hole on Tuesday, Jan. 9, 2007. 

That’s when law enforcement told his family that his daughter Channon’s body had been found.

Family and friends had been searching for her for two days,

What happened to Channon Christian and her boyfriend, was one of Knoxville’s most horrific crimes. The young couple was ambushed and carjacked on Jan. 6, 2007.

Both were beaten, tortured and raped.

The anguish never leaves Gary Christian’s voice when he remembers being told his daughter was murdered. 

“That was my baby,” he says.

After being told what had happened, he walked to the far edge of the police parking lot, away from anyone, and looked toward heaven. 

He screamed at God. Then he turned away from Him. 

“I told Him I am done with You. I don’t want You in my life. I don’t need You in my life, and I don’t trust You with anything.”

This was a dramatic turn, a first step into his hell on earth.

Saved at age 8, Christian had grown up in church. If the doors were open, he was there. He went on mission trips, played drums in a Christian band and witnessed for Christ. “I loved the Lord,” he says emphatically.

As a parent, every morning, he prayed. In every prayer, he asked God to watch over Channon and her older brother Chase.

Then God failed him.

“All I asked Him to do for my kids was to protect them. And He didn’t.”

That anger, mixed with deep hate and a desire for vengeance, was all he felt for years. He existed in a cold, dark abyss. Even in a crowd, he felt alone. 

“I couldn’t depend on nobody; I didn’t trust anybody,” he said. “Alone had a lot to do with everything.”

About a year after the initial trials, Christian found a way to keep Channon’s memory alive. He bought a motorcycle and started the Shepherds RC riding club.

The club hosts an annual Channon and Chris Memorial Ride to raise money for charity. 

The ride is one way the families remember their children while helping others.

Then, the Shepherds rode Christian back to a place he didn’t want to go. 

Some club members asked him to attend their church. Come to Easter service, they said. It was almost like a dare. He didn’t want to go. But he did, mostly just to shut them all up. 

“I never denied God. I just didn’t want to have anything to do with him,” he says.

He knew Easter service would be about the crucifixion. But the Rev. Jim Cummings first preached about Peter, the disciple who denied Jesus and whom Jesus restored. Then he talked about Christ on the cross.  

Two weeks after Easter, Christian was back at the church. “I got convinced to go again,” he says with a wry smile.

That Sunday was the day of the Shepherds’ club-only ride to remember Channon’s April 29 birthday. Before the ride, Christian and other Shepherds went to church.

The sermon was different than the Easter message. But Christian felt it was directed right at him. “I couldn’t shake what this guy said the first time, and he’s doing it again.” 

It’s about 24 miles up Pellissippi Parkway from the church to the cemetery. The whole ride that last April Sunday, Christian says, “the Lord was tearing me up.” 

When he got off his bike at Channon’s grave, “I was just so tired. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

“I went down on my knee, and I asked him, ‘Just like you did with Peter, restore me.’ And he did.”

When he got to his feet, he realized the Shepherds around him “were all Christians … Everybody in the club then, some longer than others, had been praying that one day I would find my way back.

“I hadn’t done that when I started the club. Never once did I ask a man about his faith. But all I knew that day, all the ones standing there with me were Christians.” 

He knows now how it happened. 

“When I turned my back on God, he never left me. He never stopped loving me. He never stopped protecting me. He never left my side. And I didn’t even know it.”

Amy McRary, Knox News

Restoration and healing aren’t always easy. For Gary this means revisiting and talking about death, loss and anger.

Anger causes a lot of unnecessary pain. To be healed from that pain we need to ask for help…both from God and others.

In Luke 13:10-17 Jesus healed a woman who had been suffering with a crippling spirit for eighteen years. She came to Jesus and he healed her.

Jesus can heal us too.

Sometimes the healing is different than what we’re looking for, but God knows better what we need. The key to this healing is to ask.

Don’t waste your life being angry.

Be Careful About Giving Over Control of Your Actions to Your Emotions

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Think Before You Act

We’ve all been angry at someone and done things in the heat of the moment that we regretted later.

You’ve probably heard the hunting story told by Mickey Mantle. There are several different versions, here’s one.

Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin decided to go hunting on a farm owned by a doctor friend of Mantle’s. It was a long four-hour drive and when they got there, Mantle went to the door to get permission. When the friend came to the door Mantle asked if they could go hunting. The doctor said sure, anytime Mick!

As Mickey turned to walk away, the doctor asked, could you do a me a favor? Mickey said, what’s that? The doctor said he had this old horse that needed to be put down and he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. Could you do it for me? Mickey said, I don’t want to shoot your horse. The farmer said, Please Mick. It would really help me. Mickey agreed, then thought of a joke to play on Billy.

He went back to the car and said, we just drove four hours and he said we couldn’t hunt. Mickey’s voice grew angry and loud. I’ll show him, I’m going to shoot his horse. Billy said, No Mickey. Don’t do that, we’ll get in trouble…maybe end up in jail. Mickey said, NO I’ll show him he can’t do this to us. Mickey took his rifle and headed to the barn and shot the horse. Just then Mickey heard three more shots and turned around to see Billy standing there with his gun. What are you doing asked Mikey? I shot three of his cows, said Billy.

Even though Mickey’s actions weren’t out of anger, they lead his friend to act. The friend’s anger at MIckey being mistreated lead to actions that weren’t productive or helpful.

We have to be careful. Our actions might lead others to do bad things.

Another example of letting our emotions have control of our actions is the farmer who found a mouse eating an ear of his corn. When he saw this, he began chasing the mouse. He found a stick and began swinging. The mouse jumped and ran from stalk to stalk. The farmer swung and stomped and chased. When it was all over the farmer looked up and there was a half-acre of broken and flatten corn stalks.

The mouse eating the corn was not a good thing for the farmer but…

Letting his emotions control his actions did not turn out so well either!

As are all emotions, anger is from God. We are after all made in His image. The Bible is full of examples of God being angry with people that were doing things that they weren’t supposed to. One such example is in John 2:13-21, when Jesus ran the moneychangers from the Temple.

Anger can be a driving force for good, if the way we handle it aligns with God’s plans. It’s good when we get angry about someone doing something wrong. We need to have the courage to stand up against evil.

Pastor Lee told a story about a man who saw a report on the news about a plane crash caused by ice on the wings. This man was angry and being an engineer, invented a system for deicing planes.

This is the kind of angry we should be. The kind that pushes us to do something beneficial and purposeful.

Anger is a gift from God…use it wisely!

Forgiveness is More for the Forgiver Than the Forgivee

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Anger, Resentment and Hatred Hurts the Carrier the Most

We have all known someone who has been wronged and will not forgive. This eats away at them both mentally and physically. They carry this anger around, locked away, waiting to be given to someone and never finding anyone worthy.

Forgiveness is the most powerful weapon we have and one of the least used.

I listened to a Marie Forleo podcast earlier this week in which she interviewed Dr. Edith Eger, a 92-year-old Holocaust survivor.

“In 1944 she was just a teenager when she experienced one of the worst evils the human race has ever known. As a Jew living in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe, she and her family were sent to Auschwitz, the heinous death camp. Her parents were sent to the gas chambers, but Edith’s bravery kept her and her sister alive.  Toward the end of the war Edith and other prisoners had been moved to Austria. On May 4, 1945 a young American soldier noticed her hand moving slightly amongst a number of dead bodies.”

“Though I could have remained a permanent victim –scarred by what was beyond my control– I made the choice to heal. Early on, I realized that true freedom can only be found by forgiving, letting go, and moving on.”

If Edith can forgive the people who did these horrible things to her and her family, there should be no reason we can’t also forgive. We have been forgiven by God. We should do the same for others.

Andy Andrews does a great job of explaining forgiveness in Decision #7 the “Compassionate Decision” in his book The Seven Decisions. He points out that too much of the time we expect other to ask for forgiveness and they may not even know that they wronged us.

He also brings up the importance of forgiving ourselves. Often, we are our own biggest critics. We expect one thing and when we don’t achieve that we beat ourselves up.

Remember to forgive yourself.

We can accomplish so much more and we will be much happier and healthier if we will forgive.