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Building A Dream Life

Happiness is Contagious, Much Like a Virus

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Our Subconscious Can Have a Huge Impact on Either

I am a big believer in the power of our mind and the effect the choices we make have on our reality. There is a lot of evidence to this power for either positive or negative thinking. Countless placebo study results have shown the effect the mind can have.

Your mind is a powerful tool…use it wisely.

There are realities that we can’t to ignore, like gravity. But, given the facts of gravity, before there were airplanes people would have said human flight was impossible. I still wouldn’t advise jumping off a cliff, I don’t care how much you believe you won’t hit the ground.

Happiness is a choice. We can choose to be happy even in difficult situations. 

Isolation hurts happiness and mental wellness. I’m thankful for the technology that we have available to allow us to stay connected virtually, but it is not the same as physical connection. The lack of physical connection is a greater detriment to physical health than obesity, smoking or high blood pressure.

Happiness is contagious and is spread through physical interaction.

Happiness comes from within, not from things. It is a superpower available to all of us, but it doesn’t work if we don’t use it. People spend a lot of time and energy looking for happiness from the accumulation of stuff. This kind of happiness will never work for the long term.

Our internal happiness comes from God. In John 14:1-14 Jesus is reassuring his followers. They have been going through some pretty rough times up to this point and things are going to get worse for them before they get better. Jesus tells them in verse 1, to “not be troubled”. He goes on, in verse 6, “I am the way, the truth and the life. The way to the Father is through me.” Philip responds, “show us the Father. That is all we need.” Jesus then tells them, “whoever believes in me knows the Father and will do the same things that I do. If you ask for anything in my name, I will do it.”

We can have a Jesus size happiness if we ask and believe.

What is the Address of Your Vision?

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Clearing the Fog from Your Dream

You dream of your beautiful life out there in the future. You look around and see other people’s amazing lives. What are they doing that you aren’t? The dream that you have for life is so amazing that you question if it’s even a remote possibility.

When we have big dreams…I’m talking really, really big dreams, it’s easy to convince ourselves that they are unrealistic, and can never be achieved. God is a big God and He has big dreams. We’re made in His image…so wouldn’t we naturally have big dreams too?

If your dream is in alignment with God’s, then it definitely IS possible.

The first thing to remember is that everyone’s “amazing dream life” is different. Don’t try to be someone else. Your job is to be you, the best you, not them.

Last week I wrote about listening to God to determine your destination. Giving that dream an address is where the work begins. As long as it stays a dream, we don’t have to DO anything. We can just sit here and look at it, imagining how much fun it would be.

I have some pretty big dreams. Things that excite me when I think about them. Things that some people would see as frivolous, shallow or self-centered. Remember what I said earlier…everyone’s dream life is different.

My dreams for the future currently, in no particular order:

  • Be debt free
  • Add on and remodel our home
  • Travel
  • Own vacation homes
  • Own a NASCAR team
  • Own rental properties – houses, commercial, farmland
  • Build a lifted up 4-wheel drive truck for playing with
  • Have trailers, tractors, loaders, etc.
  • Keep Debby in an almost new vehicle of her choosing
  • Keep my truck maintained and repaired, in like new condition with a goal of putting a million miles on it
  • Build, repair and maintain our buildings, fences, yard, etc. at home
  • Own a plane with an office space and ability to haul my truck
  • Buy old commercial buildings and renovate them back to like new condition

I share these not in a braggadocious way, but to show you how to take the next step from these big dreams to a vision. Often the biggest accomplishments are not the dreams themselves, but the things learned as we work toward them.

My ultimate success is not determined by these dreams being achieved.

I need the address for a vision so that I can enter it into the Goal Prioritization System? I have to determine some specific things needed for these dreams to become a reality. Vision is the act or power of anticipating that which will be. It is something that is seen and perceived.

If I am going to turn my dreams into reality, I need to use my power and act in anticipation of what I perceive. I need to implement my vision.

My vision for 2027:

The business is reaching hundreds of thousands of people around the world helping them find solutions for building their dreams. The focus is on the construction industry and customers, but not limited to that. Solutions for building better businesses, dreams and lives are the same as constructing quality buildings and apply to everyone, everywhere.

The business is generating enough revenue to make it possible to do things that are changing the trajectory of my family, business associates, church, various ministries, worthwhile causes, organizations, the community, the country and the world. The eight-figure gross revenue is not spent or used in a flaunty flamboyant way or viewed as evil or wrong. It is used to enjoy life. It is managed in a way as to not spoil future generations, but rather to leave a responsible legacy. The revenue is not the goal, it is a tool being used.

These goals are achieved through construction, coaching, consulting and educating both in person and virtually. Making this size of impact requires the help of multiple people in a variety of ways. I am not able to do this alone and am blessed with an amazing team that helps carry the load.

My life is lived in abundance, not in scarcity thinking. I am blessed and generously share these blessing with family, friends, church, community and the world.

Now we have an address that we can enter into the Goal Prioritization System. This let’s us determine which direction to head. Next, we need to make sure we are ready to start the trip. Establish how far we can get on a tank of fuel, make sure we have a spare tire, find out where the fuel stops are and how far we can go on a tank of fuel.

Next week we’ll work to break the vision down into goals.

What is the Third Man Syndrome?

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It’s There for Everyone, But You Have to be Open and Willing

The Third Man Syndrome refers to situations where an unseen presence provides comfort and support. This is most commonly reported in cases of extreme or traumatic experiences.

For example, in Sir Ernest Shackleton’s book South, he describes being joined by an incorporeal being when he and two others were on the final leg of their exploration journey over the mountains and glaciers. He said, “It seemed to me often that we were four, not three.”

This ‘third man’ was also alluded to by football player Russell Okung when describing his faith story. While in college his mother and sister were at home alone when a hurricane went through Houston Texas where they lived. Russell says while sitting in the chapel one day God spoke to him and said, “You don’t have to go through this alone. You’re not by yourself.”

“It’s crazy how God will come to you even in the most small, subtle ways – maybe even a whisper.”

A 3rd example comes from James Ryle. He experienced an abusive situation in the orphanage where he was placed at the age of six. After leaving the orphanage in 1969, he fell asleep while driving a car, resulting in the death of his best friend. In an effort to raise the money to pay the attorney representing him in the accident case he was caught selling drugs. He was sentenced to the Texas State Penitentiary at the age of nineteen.

While sitting in jail he recalled a Bible verse he had learned growing up. Romans 8:28, and he realized God was saying, you can keep doing things your way or you can do them My way. Through a collection of miracles James was released early and went on to help found Promise Keepers and ultimately millions of lives were changed.

Too often our ideas are not God’s ideas. We look at things for a worldly perspective and expect God to look at in the same way. For example, in Luke 24:13-35 when some of Jesus’ followers were going to Emmaus after Jesus’ crucifixion. They had expected Jesus to be a worldly leader and restore the throne to Jerusalem. They were left lost and scared after He was killed.

“While they talked and discussed, Jesus Himself came and began walking with them.” Luke 24:15

The greatest blessing God gives us is the knowledge of His presence in our challenges. When we ask for patience, He doesn’t give us a warm and fuzzy answer. He puts challenging people and situations in our path. When we pray for wisdom, He gives us situations that require humility and discernment. God’s miracles are often average people dealing with difficult circumstances and finding solutions.

God doesn’t give us “genie in a bottle” answers.

He will be there through the storm. He will give us direction and insight, but we need to be willing to do our part. We need to be open and aware to the “third man”

May the Christ who walks on wounded feet, walk with you on the road

May the Christ who serves with wounded hands, stretch out your hands to serve

May the Christ who loves with a wounded heart, open your heart to love

May you see the face of Christ in everyone you meet and

May everyone you meet see the face of Christ in you

How Do I Even Know Where There Is?

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By Listening to the Still Small Voice That’s in Your Heart

We’re all looking for a road map to our destiny. We want a crystal-clear plan laid out so that we know what to expect around each and every turn. Life doesn’t work that way.

One certainty is…life is uncertain.

This isn’t what we want to hear. We want all the answers before we start the journey. So…if there is no certainty, why do we bother trying to figure out our destination? How do we know which direction to start? If we let it, this uncertainty causes us to stay where we are and not move.

If you don’t move you will never get any closer to your destination.

Last week’s solution was about getting from here to there. It compared a Global Positioning System to life’s GPS, a Goal Prioritization System. This system will help you to determine what your destination is and the steps to take to get there.

This system consists of four parts.

DREAMS   →   VISIONS   →   GOALS   →   ACTIONS

Knowing where your ‘there’ (destination or purpose) is starts with your dream. This consists of thoughts, ideas, images, sensations, emotions, that occur involuntarily in your subconscious. They are a part of you that comes from someplace outside of you. This is God’s way of communicating your ‘there’ (destination or purpose) to you.

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah was feeling overwhelmed and alone in his task. He was sure he had been doing ‘the thing’ he was called to do, but things didn’t seem to be going as planned. God spoke to Elijah in a still small voice and reassured him that he was headed in the right direction.

God is speaking to us. It may be a small inaudible voice, or it may be a smack in the head. We make the destination search more complicated than it is. We tend to over-think this process. The important thing is to listen and to hear what He says.

We need to do more than just listen with our ears we need to hear with our hearts.

How do we hear with our hearts? We take inventory of who we are by asking some questions.

  • What things am I good at? Skills that come naturally to me.
  • What things do I love to do? Things that I must force myself to take breaks from doing and would do for free.
  • What situations and life lessons have I learned? My unique experiences and situations are unique to me.
  • Different personalities work better in different vocations. What things fit with my personality?

These are examples of questions to ask ourselves. After answering these and similar ones we will know our destination. When we feel our destination, it is an amazing thing.

Now that I know where my ‘THERE’ is…. how do I get there?

At this point the destination is determined, but still a little fuzzy. How do we put an address to it so we can enter it into life’s GPS? This is done by turning that dream into a vision.

Next week we’ll turn the dream into a vision and give it an address.

A Cheerful Heart is Good Medicine

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It’s Up to Us to Decide to be Cheerful or Not

We have limited control over what happens around us. We have complete control of how we respond. We can choose, it’s up to us to decide if we’re going to take control or not.

We all go through things in life that, at the time, seem unbearable. Whatever it is, someone else ‘has gone’, ‘is going’ or ‘will go’ through it. At the time we are, it sure feels like no one has ever suffered this much.

Peace of mind is what we’re looking for.

In John 20:19-31, the disciples were lost, scared and hiding behind locked doors. Their best friend and leader had been killed a few days before. They were anything but cheerful. Then Jesus showed up and said, “Peace be with you.” He showed them His hands and His side and again said, “Peace be with you”.

He had the power to heal His scars, but He left them to show others the proof of His commitment to us. We all have scars of varying forms and degrees. The Christian band, I Am They, shares this in the song, Scars.

Now I’m standing in confidence

With the strength of Your faithfulness

And I’m not who I was before

No, I don’t have to fear anymore

So I’m thankful for the scars

‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart

And I know they’ll always tell of who You are

So forever I am thankful for the scars

Scars are a part of our story and a reminder of who we are.

Next, Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” In the span of a few minutes the disciple’s attitudes had changed from sad to happy. With Holy Spirt we can change our attitudes as well. The power of Holy Spirt in our lives prevents us from ever having to be alone. This peace makes being cheerful much easier.

Having God’s peace gives me the courage to move forward in times of doubt and fear.

Nabeel Qureshi was born in San Diego to Pakistani Muslim parents who had immigrated to the US. While attending college he engaged in religious discussions with Christian, David Wood. They became friends and through this relationship Qureshi converted to Christianity. Converting to Christianity from being a Muslim requires real commitment. A conversion of this kind can be a death sentence.

In his book, Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, Nabeel provides an intimate window into the struggle of being raised in a loving Muslim home and the inner turmoil of becoming a Christian. The clash between Islam and Christianity and the peace he finds in Jesus.

Peace is the defining mark of those who follow Jesus.

We get to decide if we want the cheerfulness and peace that come with being Christians. When struggling through all the difficulties that life dishes out, it’s hard to find a better medicine than a cheerful heart.

How Do I Get from Here to There?

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With a Clear Understanding of Your Life’s GPS

A friend and I were recently discussing the sense of out-of-control overwhelm that we were both experiencing. There are so many important, valuable, worthwhile things to do. How will I ever get them all done?

My to-do-list is so long there’s not enough time to read it…let alone do it.

I’m tired of being stuck in this rut and am looking for a way out. Some of the things on our lists were classes and trainings. These should be something to help, but too often just becomes another thing on the list.

Most of us want a clearer direction, but don’t know what that is.

I’ve been thinking about this since our discussion…not to mention studying about it. As I was researching ways to better achieve goals it became clear that there isn’t any real difference in any of them. Sure, there are small nuanced differences but they’re really all the same.

Sometimes the same thing we heard several times before resonates with us this time. Who knows why? It may be the presenter, or the form of presentation, or maybe it’s just timing, who knows? An example of this recently is when I was going through Mark Shinnerer’s, Vision Building course and his comparison of a GPS to a life plan. There really are a lot of similarities in life planning and a GPS.

One thing that’s critical to achieving goals is in prioritization.

This is one of the places I struggle most. When looking at that huge long list of all those important, valuable, worthwhile things to do. Where do I start? This is where accomplishment gets lost. Too much time spent trying to decide.

Here are some GPS similarities:

When going from here to there, using a Global Positioning System, we put in the destination we want to go, and it gives us optional routes to get there. When planning to go from here to there in life’s journey we need to use a Goal Prioritization System. This system will help us determine the path we will take to reach our purpose destination.

  • Determine where you want to go before you start – Knowing where you want to go will make the trip more productive. This doesn’t mean that you can’t change the destination later, but it takes away from forward progress.
  • Choose which of the routes you’re going to take – There are options of shorter and more direct or longer and more scenic. There’s no right or wrong, just choose one and get started. As you are on your way you can change your mind and the GPS will reroute you.
  • Unexpected things out of your control happen – You may encounter road work or a flat tire. These things require some adjustment to your schedule and/or possibly your route. Remember these things happening are out of your control, but how you react to them isn’t.
  • Unplanned things that are in your control – When in route you may encounter scenic stops. You can choose whether to take the time to slow down and smell the roses. You might also come across someone who has had trouble. Stopping or not is also a choice you get to make.

Once you have a clear vision of your destination it’s up to you to get in gear and step on the gas, otherwise you will just sit there thinking about what might have been.

If you don’t move forward you will never reach your destination.

The Importance of a Physical Connection

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It is Foundational to Who We Are

Pastor Lee has asked the congregation to share their testimonies periodically over the last year. These have been titled, “What Tisdale Means to Me”. This was the message this past week.

Garth and Amy shared what Tisdale means to them from different perspectives. Garth has a long-term family connection, while Amy’s connection happened later in her life. Both shared fond memories and the importance of the warm welcoming feelings of a church family.

I certainly can relate to these feelings. Having grown up in this church the connection I have there is a foundational part of who I am. The current situation while we aren’t physically gathering together is depressing. I miss my church family. I’ve never been a big hugger, I am a handshaker…

I’m looking forward to some handshaking and yes, even some hugging.

I hear a lot about how the current state of online social connection is going to replace much of the physical connection, this concerns me.

We are made to be connected physically.

When Jesus was here on Earth people were always reaching out to touch Him and that simple act of touching healed them, Mark 6:56, Luke 6:19 and 18:15-16. Jesus’ act of healing people often involved touching them, Mathew 9:29 and Mark 1:41-42.

For years I’ve heard about the importance of physical touch to babies and children. In a 2010 article by Katherine Harmon, she points out the importance that skin-to-skin contact has on infants and children. She points out that, “babies cry less, sleep better and their brain development is facilitated”, when they are touched.

In another article, “Importance of Human Touch”, written in 2017 by Mary Bauer, it is explained that not only is touch important to child development, but also to the elderly and aged. “Results from a study published in “Current Biology” in 2015 suggest that humans derive pleasure from touching…”.

We were made to share and connect through community. As thankful as I am that we can connect through social media and online formats.

It is no substitute for real live personal connection.

We will not survive science fiction like long distance relationships. That is not how God made us. We were made to be physical.

What is it Like to be Alive?

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This is a Question as Old as Time

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world right now. Many people feel like what they’re going through really isn’t living. Life has always been full of difficulties. It’s up to us to decide if we’re going to live life or curl up in a corner.

A woman whose son was gone to war received a visit from the Army, informing her that her son had been killed by a land mine. She was uncontrollably distraught for days. On the third day she received a phone call…it was her son. HE WAS ALIVE! The earlier message was a mistake, the son she thought was dead was alive.

This is the Easter message…SURPRISE HE’S ALIVE!

When the women went to Jesus’ tomb they were filled with grief and sadness. They had watch Jesus die on the cross just a few days earlier. When they got there the tomb was empty and an angel told them that He was alive. They were very happy. The angel told them to go spread the word and they did. Matthew 28:1-10.

HALLELUJAH HE’S ALIVE!

We don’t understand the value of LIFE until we are sitting by a tomb. We don’t understand the value of LOVE until we have stared hatred in the face. We don’t understand the power of HOPE until we have experienced the darkest despair.

Easter is all about life. God’s grace is found in the empty tomb. It is the victory HOPE over despair, LOVE over hate and LIFE over death. For Christians, every day is Easter.

Jesus is King of kings and Lord of lords. Hallelujah, He shall rein for ever and ever.

Check out Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus here. World’s Largest Virtual Hallelujah Chorus

Life is Like Removing a Clothesline Pole

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You Never Know How Big the Hole Will be Until You Start Digging

Have you ever had a vision for something that you weren’t sure what needed to be done or how to do it? If you’re not careful planning and analyzing can lead to overthinking and overthinking is just another word for procrastination.

Overthinking has kept me from accomplishing things too many times.

My assistant Cathleen had a vision for creating a safe place in the small back yard for her young daughter to play. This vision included a trampoline and swing set. The problem was two clothesline poles in the way. Compounding the problem…they were set in concrete.

She started digging around the first one. She had no way of knowing how much concrete was around the pipe or how deep in the ground it went. After a few days of digging and more concrete than expected, the hole was getting pretty big.

She did not let overthinking stop her from moving forward with her vision. 

Some people would say that in her youth and lack of experience she bit off more than she could chew. She could have done more research and procrastinated over this for a while. She could have saved up some money and hired a professional. She did neither…she started digging.

The importance of getting this play area ready for Luna was the determination she needed to push toward the vision. After digging for a while, she could have quit, but she didn’t. She had an objective, she knew what it was, and nothing was going to stop her.

Determination and action kept her moving forward.

There was a point in the process where it was evident that she wasn’t physically going to get the pipe and concrete out of the hole. After some re-evaluation and research, it was decided to cut the pipes off. She needed some help with this, and I happened to have a cutting torch. After this was done the dirt was put back in the hole burying the concrete and a trampoline was set up.

Cathleen’s project is no different than any other endeavor we face. It may turn out to be bigger and more time consuming than expected. There may be unanticipated circumstances that raise questions and create doubt. We may need to incorporate some help to achieve our goal.

Moving forward and not overthinking is critical to getting things done.

By nature, I’m a thinker and planner. Too often I procrastinate by overthinking everything. This is compounded by a long list of things to think about and plan for. There are so many people to help and things that need done. It’s easy to be overwhelmed when standing in the shadow of a huge mountain that needs moved.

What makes the mountain ominous is trying to figure out every detail that we’re going to encounter before we start. Are we going to run into rock, how much, what will we do with it when we do…and on and on? Thinking keeps us from moving anything and the mountain just stands there.

When Cathleen saw her vision of Luna’s place to play, she started digging. She didn’t let the size of the mountain stop her. We need to take a lesson from Cathleen.

This isn’t to say that planning isn’t important, because it is. If we don’t have a plan the vision gets stuck as a dream. Like building any construction project, you need to have a plan, but nothing gets built until we move some dirt.

If you’re going to achieve your goals and accomplish your vision, you need to do some shoveling today.

Get Out of the Way and Watch These Dry Bones Come to Life

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God Can Breathe Life into Even the Worst of Situations

In just a moment, things changed. This is life. Every minute of every day things are changing. It has always been this way and always will be. The important thing is to be aware of it and be willing and able to adapt.

You can set the GPS to give you directions from point A to B. Pick an option it gives you and start your journey. What it won’t do is tell you every possible roadblock or flat tire you will encounter.

When you find yourself stranded with a flat tire…you can pound the steering wheel and complain. You can just sit in your car and wait for the tire to magically change itself. Or, you can get out of the car and do something about it.

How you handle flat tires is crucial to your outcome.

If we are constantly looking at our problems, we will never move beyond them. In the Book of Ezekiel, Israel is feeling depressed and hopeless in their situation. (Not unlike what we’re currently experiencing.) In Chapter 37:1-14 Ezekiel finds himself standing in a valley surrounded by human bones. God asks Ezekiel if the bones can live? Ezekiel answers, “God, only You know.”

God tells Ezekiel, “Say to the bones…you will come to life.” The bones came together, muscles, flesh and skin covered them. God says to Ezekiel, “Say to the wind…breathe on these people…” and breath came into them and they came to life.

God’s Spirt inside of us gives us life and hope.

We choose how we will act and react to situations we find ourselves in. No matter how bad things seem, what we read, what the news is saying, what politicians are saying, in every situation God has our back.

God’s got this. He can even bring dry bones to life.