Life Happens…The Question Is, What Are You Going to Do When It Does?

I Think Flexible Rigidity Is the Best Plan

I am an organizer and planner by nature. I like having a clear direction. A system in place to expedite those wonderfully crafted plans. Knowing what I’m going to do today.

But then…’life happens’.

You know what I mean. You’re going along, following those well-organized plans and then out of nowhere…something comes along and messes the whole thing up.

Just because I’m a planner doesn’t mean that I can’t be flexible, because I can. Sometimes maybe too much. It has always been pretty easy for me to make adjustments when something unexpected happens.

The problem with this is, getting derailed by distractions makes it hard to stay on task. Then of course that plan, that wonderfully crafted plan, is all messed up. For years I have worked to be better at balancing the plan and flexibility.

You may be on the other side and have the gift of doing. The ability to make a decision and move on it. You find it frustrating when the unexpected happens and you struggle to deal with it.

Knowing what character, personality and gifts you have is critical to being prepared in your own way to handle the unexpected.

I first wrote about this topic of being flexibly rigid back in 2016. It’s interesting that the instigation for that post was a brake line leaking on my truck. Now I’m writing about this again today, six years later.

Today’s situation involves brake lines and a whole lot more.

As I was turning into the church this past Sunday morning, I was rear ended. The accident knocked the rear axle out of the truck as well as causing some damage to the truck bed.

First and foremost, I’m grateful that neither I or the other driver were hurt…the vehicles didn’t fare so well.

Looking at the blessings is a great way to put things into perspective.

I’ve had this truck for twenty-two years and have put 523,000 miles on it, toward my goal of a million miles. People who know me, know that I like my truck…but ultimately, it’s just a truck.

Now, let’s look at how flexible rigidity works.

I need to start with considering my options –

  • Is the truck repairable?
  • If so, what’s it going to take to repair it?
  • If so, is repairing it worth the cost?
  • Is the insurance going to total the truck?
  • How much is insurance going to pay?

After I get the answers to these questions and others. I will weigh the options, ask God for His thoughts and make a decision.

He is the Master Planner and it is important for our plans to align with His.

We need to determine what our priorities are before the scheduling fiascos happen. Figure out who we are and what we want, so we are ready when the unexpected happens.

This doesn’t mean that everything will go perfectly, but as we search for clarity and work through each schedule disruption…

We will get a little closer to being who we were designed to be.

Being flexibly rigid is the balance of staying on task while handling things when life happens.

Too Often Misunderstandings Cause Us to Do the Wrong Thing

It’s Important to Ask Questions Outside Your Internal Perspective Box

Asking questions is the best way to get a clear understanding. Too often we assume things and don’t take time to ask questions. Questions are the only way to get past misunderstandings.

Have you ever felt misunderstood?

This is a question Norm Williams a Readers Digest contributor had when he was searching the library for two books by communications expert Deborah Tannen. It turned into an Abbott and Costello comedy routine.

“What’s the first book?” the librarian asked.

That’s Not What I Meant,” I said.

“Well, what did you mean?”

“That’s the title of the book,” I explained.

“Okay,” she said, looking at me a little skeptically. “And the other book?”

You Just Don’t Understand.”

“Excuse me?”

I got both books. Eventually.

When it comes to clear communication, even the experts can have trouble. Don’t give up! Hang in there. Work through it. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. And remember in the process, it is more important to understand than to be understood.

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:2).

Clarity doesn’t mean we will agree, but it gives us understanding.

In Acts 9:1-6, Saul got some clarity. He was on the road to Damascus to find and kill followers of Christ. He was passionate about this. He was certain he was doing the right thing…until a bright light from heaven surrounded him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say, “Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute Me?”

“Who are you?” asked Saul.

“I am Jesus, the one you are persecuting. Now get up, go into the city where you will be told what to do.”

And boy did he ever. He became Paul and changed his mission.

Saul’s faith wasn’t in God, it was in the misunderstanding of who God is.

A Jewish father was very troubled by his son wanting to become a Christian and went to see his rabbi about it.

“Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith. Then he tells me last week, he’s decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

The rabbi says, “Funny you should ask that. I too, brought up my son as a boy of faith and then one day he comes to me and tells me he wants to be a Christian.”

“What did you do?” asked the man of the rabbi.

“I turned to God for the answer,” replied the rabbi.

“What did He say?” asked the man.

He said, “Funny you should ask that…”

Too often we focus on the laws rather than the love.

“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do” – Anne Lamott

Hate makes Satan’s job a lot easier and there is a lot of hate out there.

Katherine Thacker needed a healthy outlet and she found it.

Her mind was obsessed with hateful thoughts directed toward the suspect who killed her father, a cop, while he was on duty. Forgiveness was out of the question.

“I started writing very angry letters to the man who killed my dad and expressed my hurt.” “But not only did I express my hurt, I also expressed what I wished could happen to him. And they were really really hateful.”

Broken in spirit, she turned away from God.

“Why did God let my dad die?” she asked. “If God’s good, why did He let the man who killed my dad do this?”

Her distancing from God continued until she went to a week-long summer Christian camp.

Slowly but surely, she began to unbuild, brick by brick, the wall she had erected to keep God out of her life.

“I assumed that if I built up this wall, God would be long gone. He’d be so far gone,” she recalls. “I realized that when I took it down and He was still right there. He didn’t leave or walk away.”

Katherine became a Christian and realized she must forgive her dad’s killer.

“My anger was consuming my thoughts, consuming my heart. It was blocking out parts of my heart that God could easily fill up,” she says. “So I ended up, through a lot of prayer, able to fully forgive the man who killed my dad. I hold no grudge against him. He can experience God’s forgiveness too, because he’s a sinful human just like me.”

Katherine stopped writing hateful letters that she never sent to the murderer. Instead, she started writing letters to the bereaved families of fallen policemen.

The power of forgiveness brought healing to her heart and a blessing to many others.

What kind of God do you believe God is?

Who is Jesus and how does He expect His followers to live?

Lord, what do you want me to do?

When our mission is aligned with Christ’s heart then our lives will have an eternal impact

Fear is a Powerful Force, But Faith Can Help You Overcome It

Like Every Other Decision in Your Life…It’s Up to You

Believing in something we can’t see can be hard. This is where faith comes in.

Last week we celebrated Easter and Christ’s resurrection. We talked about the women finding the empty tomb and how the apostles thought this was nonsense.

This week we’ll pick up from there. In John 20:19-31, the disciples were afraid and hiding in a locked room, when Jesus showed up. He showed them His hands and feet and gave them the Holy Spirit to go out and spread the message of how we can spend eternity with Him in Heaven.

Thomas, one of the disciples wasn’t with them when this happened. When they told him…he didn’t believe them. He said, “I won’t believe unless I see and touch the scars.”

We’re more like Thomas than we would like to believe. We tell ourselves we believe, but do we really?

Thomas’s need for proof was like a farmer from South Carolina in the early 1900s.

 He said that he thought the existence of Europe was fictional. He believed that there was no such place as the continent of Europe. He found it hard to believe that anything existed beyond the Atlantic Ocean. Nevertheless, in 1918, the last year of WWI, he was drafted into the Army and had the opportunity to experience Europe as a fact. He said, “You wouldn’t believe what lies over there.”

This is often how we feel about life beyond the grave.

You wouldn’t believe what lies over there.

Thomas went on to share Christ’s message in India, where he was killed for the work he was doing.

We can believe because people like doubting Thomas gave their lives to get the word out.

It is easy to be afraid. Like the disciples too often we can hide behind locked doors. On the other hand, if we believe, we can share the message that we’ve been given.

Being afraid prevents us from doing amazing things.

The lyrics of Bette Midler song The Rose, from the movie with the same name, we are given a good example of what we miss when we live our lives in fear.

It’s the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It’s the one who won’t be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

Think of what can we do if we truly believe Christ is risen?

Don’t be afraid to live your life. Live faith over fear!

There’s a Lot More to Easter Than Bunnies, Baskets and Eggs

It’s About Being Given the Gift of Living Forever

The Bible makes no mention of a long-eared, short-tailed creature who delivers decorated eggs to well-behaved children on Easter Sunday; nevertheless, the Easter bunny has become a prominent symbol of Christianity’s most important holiday. The exact origins of this mythical mammal are unclear, but rabbits, known to be prolific procreators, are an ancient symbol of fertility and new life. 

According to some sources, the Easter bunny first arrived in America in the 1700s with German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania and transported their tradition of an egg-laying hare called “Osterhase” or “Oschter Haws.”

Their children made nests in which this creature could lay its colored eggs. Eventually, the custom spread across the U.S. and the fabled rabbit’s Easter morning deliveries expanded to include chocolate and other types of candy and gifts, while decorated baskets replaced nests.

Easter Symbols and Traditions – Easter Bunny, Easter Eggs & Christianity – HISTORY

I certainly like the chocolate part of this tradition. The important thing with any tradition is to not let it become the reason or purpose behind the celebration.

We need to remember what Easter is really about.

In Luke 24:1-12 the women went to the tomb. When they got there, they found the stone rolled away and no body. Jesus was gone. Suddenly there were two angels standing there. They told the women, “Why are you looking in a place of the dead for someone who is alive?”

The women went and told the eleven apostles and other followers what they found. “The apostles thought it was nonsense.”

These men had been living and working alongside of Jesus daily. He had told them that, “The Son of Man will be handed over to sinners who will nail Him to a cross. But three days later He will rise to life.” And they still didn’t believe.

This living forever thing is something that can be hard to comprehend. It’s something that until we die, we can’t experience.

Even though it may seem like nonsense, I look at it this way. I have a choice to believe or not. At the very least if there is an eternal life after this earthly one, I would rather spend it in heaven rather than hell.

A man was standing on the sidewalk looking in a display in a store window. Because it was Easter time the store had a crucifixion scene set up. As he was standing there a small boy walked up and said, “Those are Roman soldiers.” The man said nothing and continued studying the window. “There is Jesus.”, said the boy. Still no response from the man. “They killed Him.”, said the boy.

The man, having satisfied his curiosity, turned and began walking away. He heard footsteps behind him and a tug on his sleeve. It was the boy. “Mister, I forgot to tell you the most important part.

He is alive again.”

Remember, this is the most important part as you enjoy your Easter chocolate.

Blindly Believing is Easier Than the Hard Work of Finding the Truth

Rejection Is a Driving Force in Why We Follow the Crowd

We naturally desire being accepted…being included in the group of cool people. This need starts at an early age.

You’re probably aware of the game spin the bottle. In one version, whoever the bottle points at must either kiss the spinner or pay them a quarter. One man said that he got so many quarters that he paid his first year of college with quarters.

Now that’s some major rejection. This humorous story may make us laugh, but…

There’s nothing funny about rejection.

Most of us are familiar with the Palm Sunday story of Jesus riding the donkey into Jerusalem. The people gave Him a king’s welcome. They spread coats and palm branches on the road in front of Him. As told in Luke 19:28-44, His followers were shouting “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

We know that in a few short days after Jesus is received as a king, he is killed like a criminal. Talk about rejection.

There were two groups of people observing Jesus’ arrival. The majority of both groups were wrong in their perception of what this arrival meant. Both thought Jesus was going to come in and overthrow the government.

The Pharisees were scared that this would be the end to their power. The others thought this would give them the power. All of them wanted to be part of the “cool crowd”.

Because their focus was on being in the “cool crowd”, they missed the truth.

Too often this desire to fit in, blinds us to the truth.

Being alone is scary. It’s easier to believe what we’re told than to be alone and ask the hard questions. There’s strength in numbers. We feel much safer in a group, even if that group believes the wrong things.

This was never more evident than when the Nazi German regime was able to carry out over eleven million institutional killings between 1933 and 1945. In Andy Andrews book, How Do You Kill 11 Million People? Why the Truth Matters More Than You Think, he shows us how deadly it can be to believe a lie.

Seeking and discerning the truth is of critical importance. Believing lies is the most dangerous thing you can do. Be a careful student of the past, seeking accurate, factual accounts of events that illuminate our choices.

We must become informed, passionate people or suffer the consequences of our own ignorance and apathy. We can no longer measure a group’s worth by what we hear or want to be true. Instead,

We must use an unchanging Biblical standard of the pure, unvarnished truth. 

This truth affects both the world we live in now and the one beyond.

Focus and Determination Beat Brains and Intellect Every Time

We Need to be More Like Squirrels

Most of us struggle with getting and staying focused. We are easily distracted and now more than ever we are surrounded by constant distractions.

Why Squirrels Get to Rock an “S” On Their Chest comes from “You Don’t Need a Title to Be a Leader” by Mark Sanborn does a great job of putting this in perspective.


Bill bought a new house on the edge of a lush, wooded area. Bill liked to feed birds, so Bill put a feeder up in his backyard. But before the sun even set that evening, squirrels were swinging off the bird feeder and chasing the birds away. Bill realized that he had to do something or the birds would soon be too scared to come near the feeder.

For the next two weeks he declared war on the squirrels. Bill wasn’t a mean guy and wouldn’t do anything to hurt the squirrels, but he was willing to use any peaceful means necessary to keep them out of his bird feeder.

He tried greasing the post, but that didn’t work. Stumped, Bill visited his local hardware store and bought a “squirrel-proof bird feeder”, an odd-looking feeder with wire mesh wrapped around it. The label said it was guaranteed, so Bill took it home and put it in his backyard.

By sunset squirrels were once again swinging off the bird feeder.

Bill was really upset, and the next day he took the feeder back to the hardware store. He asked to see the manager, demanding a full refund.

“Calm down,” the store manager told him. “I could have told you when you bought it that there is no such thing as a squirrel-proof bird feeder.”

Bill looked at him in disbelief. You mean we can land a man on the moon and send instantaneous messages via satellite to anywhere around the world, but our best and brightest scientists and engineers can’t design and manufacture a bird feeder that can outsmart an animal with the brain the size of a pea?

“Yep,” said the retailer.

“Why not?” Bill persisted.

“Let me ask you something sir,” the man replied. “How much time on average have you spent in the last two weeks trying to keep the squirrels out of your bird feeder?”

Bill thought it over for a moment and responded, “Maybe ten to fifteen minutes a day.”

“And how much time do you think the squirrels spend each day trying to get in?”

The answer, Bill learned, is almost every waking squirrel moment; squirrels spend 98 percent of their waking hours looking for food. In fact, they are unique in the animal kingdom in that they would rather eat than procreate; they prefer foraging to fooling around. This just goes to show the kind of focus the squirrel brings to its mission.

The moral of this story: 

Focus and determination beat brains and intellect every time.

You don’t necessarily have to be smarter or better educated to succeed. Your power lies in your ability to focus on doing what is important. If you focus on the right things, and work at them often, you will achieve exceptional results.

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

Benjamin Franklin


Just think what we could accomplish if we had the focus of a squirrel.

In Philippians 3:4-14, Paul speaks to the importance of working toward the goal. Running and struggling to take hold of the prize. Forgetting what is behind and fighting for what is ahead.

Determine what your purpose is. Commit to it and make it your priority. Focus on it like a squirrel would.

Coming Home is One of the Best Feelings Ever

Just Because We’re Welcomed with Open Arms, It Doesn’t Mean We Get Off Scot-free

Home is one of the best places. Whether it’s the home where you currently live or the one you grew up in. There’s something just warm and wonderful about home. Granted some physical homes aren’t so good, but the emotional feeling of “home” is the place where we want to be.

Some people want to get away from home and explore. Even those people have a sense of home. Part of their adventure may be a search for that place that feels like home.

When exploring, it’s important to know where you are.

Erwin Kreuz was a traveler who thought he knew where he was only to find out he didn’t. In 1977 he came to America from Germany. He had always wanted to visit San Francisco.

On a layover in Banger Maine, due to speaking no English, he misunderstood a flight attendant who wished him a pleasant visit to San Francisco. This led him to believe he was in California, and he got off the plane. After days of looking for the Golden Gate Bridge and other landmarks, he found some German speaking people and realized his situation. His story went on to become Maine folklore.

Like the Bible story about the prodigal son. The younger son went on an adventure that ended with him longing for home. There was a point when he decided that he needed to go home and ask for forgiveness.

This is one of those stories that can leave us with feelings of uneasiness.

If you’re an older sibling, like me, we can identify with the older brother. We’ve been here all along. Working hard and doing what we’re supposed to and now this rebel comes home and he gets a party.

Maybe you identify with the younger brother and regret some of the things you’ve done. You just want to come home but are afraid that you won’t be allowed to.

Or maybe this story is upsetting. To think that someone could be so disrespectful and frivolous and come back and live like you did nothing wrong.

For years I struggled with aspects of this story but have come to some conclusions.

We all have portions of both brothers.

We have all made mistakes. Whether they are the high and mighty, I think I’m better for doing the “right things” like the older brother. Or the more openly in your face wild living like the younger brother.

Both brothers need to realize who their father is and ask for forgiveness.

The other thing that helped me with this story is that we don’t know what happens after the son’s return celebration is over.

It is evident throughout the Bible that just because we ask for forgiveness and “come home”, that’s not the end. There are consequences to our actions even after we come home.

Just look at the story of David and what happens after he sleeps with Bathsheba and then has her husband killed. Even after David repents and “comes home” there is a price to pay. The newborn baby of Bathsheba dies. One of his other sons, Amnon, sleeps with one of his daughters, Tamar. Tamar’s brother Absalom kills Amnon. And then Absalom rebels against David and ends up being killed in a battle with David.

There are consequences to our actions. But it’s still better to come “home” to the open arms of our Father, accept our punishment in love and live the life we’ve been called to live.

Take Advantage of Second Chances Because There is a Limited Amount

Produce Some Fruit So That You’re Not Cut Down

It’s Spring, if you garden it’s time to get to work. Some people love to garden. Some of us not so much. My abilities are better used in other ways.

An old man lived with his son. He loved planting a garden. It was time to dig up the garden and plant potatoes. The old man was counting on his son’s help with the work of digging… but his son was in jail.

The old man wrote a letter to the son. He told him how sad he was that he wouldn’t be able to dig up the garden and plant the potatoes.

The son wrote him back and told him…Don’t dig up the garden…that’s where I buried the guns.

The next morning the police showed up and dug up the whole garden looking for guns. They didn’t find any. They apologized for tearing up the garden and left.

Confused the dad wrote to the son and told him what had happened. The son replied…

Now you can plant the potatoes…It’s the best I could do from here.

The son figured out a way to help his father even though he wasn’t there in person.

This week’s Scripture was from Luke 13:1-9. The man went out to pick some figs, but the tree didn’t have any on it. He told the gardener, “For three years I have come looking for figs on this tree, and I haven’t found any yet. Chop it down! Why should it take up space?”

The gardener answered, “Master, leave it for another year. I’ll dig around it and put some fertilizer on it to make it grow.

If it doesn’t have any fruit next year, you can cut down.”

There are times when we’re the fig tree and times when we’re the gardener.

Life is short. We have a limited time to produce fruit. If we need help, then let the gardener help.

Don’t be a tree just taking up space and not producing any fruit.

The fruit we produce is our legacy. Produce the fruit you have been put here for. Fertilizer effects the outcome. What we put in determines the fruit we produce. Use good fertilizer.

Like the fig tree we get second chances, but there is a limit. At some point we will be cut down and thrown in the fire.

Don’t wait…start producing fruit now.

We might be a gardener helping trees through our work and encouragement. We can help others produce the fruit they are intended to produce.

We all know of trees that aren’t producing any fruit. Even if we can’t be there in person to help, we can use our skills and abilities to help the tree.

Whether we’re the tree or the gardener there is a limited number of chances and time.

Don’t wait to be cut down and thrown in the fire. Start producing fruit now.

What Are We Going to Do About Jesus?

Because it Looks Like He’s in Trouble

Most of us have heard of some of the strange and odd laws that are out there. Like for example, crazy law #14 of the 20 Most Stupid Laws in the U.S.

In New York, “It is illegal for a group of people to wear masks in public”. I wonder how that’s currently working out?

Here are a few of the 50 Dumb Laws from Across the United States. In Alaska, flamingos are not allowed in barber shops. A pickle is not a pickle in Connecticut unless it bounces. Christmas decorations are not allowed up after January 14th in Maine.

Most of these laws made their way onto the books because of some specific situation and/or understandable reason at the time. The problem is that we tend to get caught up in the rules and regulations and lose sight of what the underlying reason was.

Laws have been a problem since the beginning of time.

In Luke 6:6-11 Jesus was teaching on a Sabbath and a man with a crippled hand was there. The Pharisees and teachers of the law were watching Jesus to see what He would do.

Jesus knew they were watching and asked the man to stand up. He asked the question, “On the Sabbath should we do good or evil? Should we save life or destroy it?”

Jesus knew it was better to heal than to hurt.

He asked the man to hold out his hand and it became well.

The teachers and Pharisees were furious and started asking each other,

“What are we going to do about Jesus? He had crossed the church leaders and now…

It looks like Jesus is in trouble.

These church leaders had gotten caught up in the law. They were missing the reasons behind them. What started as a good they had made bad.

The wrong focus by the leaders of the church made Jesus angry.

Too often, we think of Jesus as only soft and weak. He is also strong and powerful. He is, after all God. The Bible is full of examples of God getting angry with us for doing the wrong things.

If you don’t think Jesus gets angry just look at what he did to the people in the temple who were cheating. John 2:14-15 The GREED of the people in the temple and the SUPERIORITY of the church leaders are just a couple of things that make Him angry.

Other things that make Him angry are – HYPOCRASY, HARD HEARTEDNESS, SPIRITUAL PRIDE and LUKEWARM LIVING.

These things should make us angry too.

We need to put our focus on the right things. The things that Jesus focuses on.

It’s okay to get into trouble when we’re doing it the way Jesus does.

The Right Church Can Make All the Difference in the World

And It’s the People That Make the Real Difference

“Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors. And see all the people.”

This nursery rhyme with its clever hand motions has kept little fingers busy for decades. It was created as a fun and simple way to teach children about community within the church.

What is the church and who are the people?

This rhyme about the church brings back fond memories, but its message points out a common misconception that should be addressed.

The church is not a building, but rather the people.

The Church is the blood-bought, Christ following, believers…THE PEOPLE.

The Bible has a lot to say about the Church. In Acts 2:42-47, it says that the Lord’s followers met together and broke bread and shared and praised God. This sounds like a church to me. Likewise in Matthew 18:20, “Wherever two or three of you come together in My name, I am there with you.”

I’m so blessed to have spent my whole life involved in and connected to a church made up of Christ following believers.

Once again, this past Sunday it was made evident with a “faith sharing Sunday”.

Pastor Lee shared four different sharing stories from people who have experienced Christ’s love through the people of the church.


The first was from a 9-year-old girl who was sitting with her dying grandfather when Pastor Lee stopped by to see him. As the Pastor and her were visiting, he asked her what she remembered about the sermon the day before. She shared several things from the message and he was amazed. He asked her to write what the church meant to her.

She wrote, I always come to listen to God to know what to do. I come to church to get direction. It gives me strength to never give up because God is there.

Wouldn’t it be great if we as adults would be this observant?


Next was from a lady that grew up in this church. She had a strong family tie to the church and community. She had many fond memories of experiences at the church through the years.

As an adult she moved to Colorado and began looking for a new church. With Tisdale being her standard, she found it hard to find a church who met that standard.

Now that she has moved back, she said, “It feels the same today as it did as a kid growing up.” Tisdale’s spirit was not just there and then, but is here and now.


Third was from a newer member of our congregation. She grew up in a church where, as a kid she never felt welcome. Because she didn’t want her kids to feel this way, she stopped going to church for a long time.

Then she came to Tisdale, and it was different. She felt welcomed. She saw her kids beginning to blossom and be more open around people. They began to grow into the people God meant them to be. The church is a big part of this. Pastor Lee and Kay accept everyone with open arms. The congregation accepts everyone with open arms. This is the way the Church is supposed to be.


The last one is a letter from someone who has never even been to the church. It is from a student at the school where Kay, Pastor Lee’s wife, works. This young man isn’t even her student. He has just seen her in the hall and the cafeteria.

He wrote her a letter telling her that he sees how she treats people and he wants to be like that. He wants to help people the way she does. They have now become good friends.


This is the way the Church is supposed to be.

The church isn’t the building…it’s the people.

It’s the people being the hands and feet of Christ in the world. And the right church can make all the difference in the world.