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Mark Eastman

Why Me…Why Not Me?

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What Can I Do to Improve My Self-confidence?

 

Why is it that so many people struggle with low self-esteem or the lack of self-confidence? I know that different people deal with it in varying degrees, but I think everyone deals with it. People who appear confident have just figured out how to deal with it better.

The huge amount of self-help books, speeches, programs, etc., speak to this struggle. I have been battling with this feeling regarding these blogs. Why is it that so few people are reading them? Then my inner evaluation begins. The content isn’t any good. The writing stinks. It doesn’t make any sense. The topics aren’t relevant. Am I wasting my time…and on and on.

 

Our book club just finished reading Cara Brookins’ book “Rise: How A House Built A Family”. The club collectively thought I might struggle reading this book (part of the reason it was picked 😊). You know, me being a professional builder reading about a woman and her four kids building a house using “how to” videos. I just want to say; this book is now in my top ten. Cara and her family really impressed and inspired me! Inspired me so much so that I gathered up the courage to email her (way out of my comfort zone).

And you know what.

She replied…to me…to little ole’ me and not only that, we had the opportunity to have a Skype conversation with her during our review of her book during book club. How cool is that! If she can build a house…I can write a blog.

Her current projects are based on her “firm belief that everyone who wants to can build themselves a bigger, better life. And the feeling…of being stuck and frustrated is exactly what most people are feeling. It’s a sign you’re on the right path, because feeling discontent creates action.”

Helping people build a bigger better life is exactly what I plan to do with my coaching, consulting and constructing here at Solution Building.

Her building of this house is proof that what is required to get past self-doubt is choice and action. We must decide to do something, something big, something as big as a house and then do it. It doesn’t matter how good the information in the self-help program is, it’s not going to do any good if it isn’t put into action.

God did not put us here to fail. Satan on the other hand is a master of using our weakness to keep us from doing the great things that God wants for us. Like our low self-esteem to keep us stuck. We must decide if we trust and believe. If we do, then it is up to us to start building.

Another one of my top ten books is Andy Andrews’ book, “The Traveler’s Gift”. It was turned down by fifty-one publishers before it was accepted.

Fifty-one.

Okay if Cara can push through the months and months of building her own home and Andy can go through fifty-one rejections I can keep blogging. Nobody said that persistence was easy, but it’s the thing that separates quitters from successful people.

I can persist – I can succeed – WHY NOT ME!

If you have any feedback on my blogs or if there is some specific topics you would like for me to write about let me know in the comments below.

The First Next Thing to Building A Better Business

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Action Is Required for Building Anything

 

It doesn’t matter if we are building a home, a business or a life…they all require physical action. Planning is critical but not enough.

At a lunch meeting with my financial assistant (my sister) earlier this week we were discussing what is needed to move closer to achieving the company’s goals. This conversation confirmed what I already knew. By nature, I am a planner, a dreamer and a recovering perfectionist. I have lots of ideas and plans, all great ones too, no doubt. 😊 But it takes more than just plans.

The necessary thing needed to build the business, just like a building, is action. You can’t live in a blueprint. The same is true for a business. You have to move beyond planning. You have to do the first next thing.

When doing a construction project, I understand the order of the process – to start, proceed and finish. I asked myself why the physical construction comes naturally but I struggle with building a business. I have come up with a few reasons for this:

  • It’s hard for me to delegate – I know that I suck at it. People who know me know that I suck at it. This leaves me with two options; do everything myself and do less or share the shovels. I listened to a Story Brand podcast a few days ago that pointed out that successful entrepreneurs don’t try to do everything by themselves.

  • I have a broken people meter – I was thinking about the discussion with my sister and came to the realization that part of the delegation problem is that my people meter is broke or maybe I just don’t have one. So, I need to incorporate the help of people who have good people meters into the process of finding the right people to delegate to.

 

  • My “to do list” is too long and I like lists – When the list of things that need to be done is too long we become overwhelmed. Being pulled in so many different directions leads to confusion and causes a lack of clarity. Trying to spin too many plates doesn’t move things forward it just makes us dizzy. Trying to do too many things causes chaos. I don’t have the time to do everything on my list. We need a plan for this but if things are going to change there needs to be some action.
 

  • Recovering perfectionist – Finding the separation between perfection and excellence is tricky. This is a very fine line. Having been a perfectionist for years it is difficult to not cross back into perfection. Perfection causes inaction. It slows down all the processes and makes it difficult to leave the planning and start the doing.

 

Moving forward with the first next step I must narrowly clarify excellent delegation.

 

Just like I can’t drive more than one nail at a time when doing physical construction, the same is true when building a business or a life. If I don’t quit trying to perfect the plans and start swinging the hammer I will never get anything built.

Spend Time Wisely, There’s A Limited Amount

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It’s One Thing That You Can’t Make Any More Of

 

Why is it that we struggle so much with this TIME thing? It seems that everybody, at least everybody that I talk with, is constantly wanting more TIME. To use a line from actress Ethel Barrymore, “That’s all there is – there isn’t any more.

I have been writing periodically about my core values and this is another.

In varying amounts and at varying degrees, depending on our abilities, desires and needs, we can make more money, make more friends, find more work, design new things, discover new ideas. Not that those things are easy, but they can be done. No so with TIME. You’ve got what you’ve got.

In last week’s post I wrote about the window project taking longer than I wanted. I said it was a topic for later. Well it’s later. Spending TIME is such a frequent problem that it has made its way in to several of my posts.

 

Why is it that, so many struggle so much with this?

 

Here are 5 things that I see as reasons –

  1. Trying to do too many things – There are so many great, wonderful and important things out there to do and I want to do them all. The problem is, there just isn’t enough TIME to.
  2. Lack of focus – There are more distractions now than ever before. With internet, social media, smart phones, etc. we are inundated with interruptions. According to Dr. Wetmore the average person gets interrupted once every 8 minutes. Depending on the length of each one that could use up 3-4 hours a day. That many interruptions sure make it hard to focus.
  3. Not saying “no” – When we are asked to do something, even though we know we don’t have time, most of the time we say yes. I think there are a few of reasons for this. First, most of us really want to help. Second, saying yes makes us feel needed, valuable and important. Third, we don’t want to let others down. No matter how good the reason is, if we don’t have TIME to do it, we should say no.
  4. Trying to do it by myself – Just like TIME, delegation is another one of the common struggles that I see happening and participate in regularly. To be the best steward of my TIME I have got to do better at this.
  5. Procrastination – Often times when things ahead of us are big and scary we fill up our TIME with something small and cuddly. This doesn’t mean the little things aren’t important, but often they are time sponges, sucking up valuable TIME.

One thing to understand is that SPENDING TIME WISELY will be different for each of us. The key here is to think about it. Review how you spend your TIME and decide how and where you want to spend yours. God has given each of us this TIME. We need to see how He wants us to spend it. He has given us the right amount for everything, Ecclesiastes 3.

 

How do you spend your time wisely?

 

Never Be Satisfied With Mediocrity

Little Things Are What Big Things Are Made Of

Who Should I Blame For Being Too Busy

Never Be Satisfied with Mediocrity

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Doing What It Right Is More Important Than Fast and Cheap

 

Currently we are in the process of repainting our 102-year-old home. Several years ago, I install three new windows and had never finished the exterior trim (this is a topic for a future discussion).

As part of the painting project I was making and installing the trim on these windows. Due to the age and style of the house the trim was more detailed than what is commonly used today. Not to mention that there was siding to cut back, house wrap and foil tape to install. It was taking me longer than I planned (another topic for later) and as I was working I thought about faster, cheaper ways that it could be done. I didn’t think about it very long before I decided that the short cuts wouldn’t be worth it. I wanted it done right.

It occurred to me that more times than not, price and speed have replaced craftsmanship. The expectation of a mediocre outcome has become the target rather than excellence.

This isn’t to say that time and money aren’t extremely important factors, because they are. I think we should always be looking for the best uses of both. Just be aware that the cost to cutting corners often is more expensive than taking a little longer and doing it right the first time. Grandpa used to say, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”

Where things begin to get tricky is that different people have different ideas of what right is. Sometimes this is due to a lack of knowledge or experience. This is why it is important to have this conversation. So that we can change the expectation from mediocre to excellent.

A good example of this is a recent situation where a shelf caddy was installed in a shower out of plum. It was only out of plum about an 1/8” in 2’ which isn’t a lot. But it wasn’t right, it wasn’t level and it should have been. Now it’s got to be fixed, which could possibly mean cutting it out and replacing with a new one. At the very least it has to be taken back out and plumbed up. Either way it’s going to cost both time and money.

The frustrated contractor was telling me about his disappointment that his help had allowed this to happen. He said that he is always telling them that there are four simple rules for building well. Just make everything plumb, level, square and straight. Isn’t this great advice.

Not only is this great advice for construction, it’s great for building a solid and stable life.

I told you that I would periodically write in more detail about my core values and to never be satisfied with mediocrity is another one. Here are some links to some of the other ones.

Using Core Values as My Life Filter

Intentional Actions

Intentional Actions

Take Off the Blinders, Be  More Observant

Pay Attention to Detail

Delegating – The Thing I Suck at Most of All

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And What I Need to Do to Get Better at It

 

Okay, today’s confession. I really am not good at delegating. This is something that I have always struggled with. Even though I know that I need to…I don’t. I try. I come up with new ideas and plans and nothing seems to work. I just suck at delegating.

As much as I see and hear about this and was able to find on the internet, it is evident that I’m not the only person with this issue. So, the question is, what am I going to do about it?

I have been searching to see if I can figure out what I’m doing wrong. The conclusion that I’ve reached is that I expect excellence from myself, so subsequently I expect it from everyone else. I don’t think this is asking too much from people who are doing work that I am responsible for. The problem is that I assume everyone already knows what that level of quality looks like without any explanation or training. While visiting with one of my sub-contractors recently and he thought that it was expecting too much for other people to perform at that level. I don’t believe that.

I do believe that even though I may not have been born with the delegating gene, I can still acquire it. I need a delegation transfusion. To get better I must learn more, practice more and do more.

 

The importance of delegation is supported biblically and by professional leaders. It’s just common-sense that a team of people can do more than one person. My understanding of the need for delegation is nothing new. I know that for me to achieve the things that I’ve been put here for, I’m going to need help. The key to delegating is in the leadership. I need to be a better leader.

 

There are a lot of things that I need to do to be a better delegator, but starting out I’m going to focus on these things:

  • Explanation – to everybody that I give responsibility to. This includes assistants, coordinators, managers, contract labor, sub-contractors, suppliers, associates, anybody that I expect to do anything. This needs to involve big picture overview clear down to the smallest detail. If I’m going to expect excellence I need to explain what that looks like. This doesn’t mean that my way of doing it is the only way. It just means that the expectations need to be set and explained clearly.
  • Hiring – the right people for the right positions. This is one of those things that to be done right takes some intentional planning and will be an extensive, time consuming process. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that it’s just quicker if I do it myself. This is a very short-sighted attitude and one that I have used too much. When I’m busily trying to get everything done I fall into this narrow-minded trap. A good example of hiring is found at Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeaders’ Best Hiring Practices.
  • Training – the process of asking and answering questions. I’ve never been a great teacher. Not only is this bad for long-term plans, it isn’t fair to those people whom I’ve delegated to. One of the things that I came across while researching delegating was the benefit to those being trained. The possibility to grow and expand. It occurred to me that this is an opportunity for me to serve them.

Being overwhelmed is a common and self-inflicted state of existence. Trying to keep all those plates spinning can make us dizzy.

 

Share your best or worst delegating examples or delegating questions in the comment section below.

It’s Friday the 13th, You Better Be Careful

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Take Control and Don’t Leave Your Life to Chance

 

When I realized it was “Friday the 13th”, I began thinking about all the different superstitions, good and bad, that people have. This is especially evident with athletes, for example it has been reported that basketball superstar Michael Jordan wore the same pair of shorts under his NBA uniform for every game and Serena Williams ties her shoes the same way before every match and always bounces the ball five times before her first serve.

There certainly is some comfort and a feeling of control that can be achieved by doing these things. I do believe that there also is a physical benefit from the mental power of routine. The question is, how much connection do these superstitions have to the outcome and is that the best place to spend our mental and physical energy?

 

The definition of superstition is; 1. A belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception. 2. A notion maintained despite evidence to the contrary.

 

As a society we seem to be convinced that we have very little control over our lives and are stuck in whatever situation we happen to find ourselves in. It’s just the luck of the draw, whether that’s good or bad. We find it easier to just accept our state of affairs rather than take responsibility for what we do about them.

There are examples everywhere of people who made decisions both big and small to do whatever it took to improve their circumstance, here are three. Surfer Bethany Hamilton lost her arm in a shark attack at age 13. She went on to compete and win surfing competitions. Stephen King had his novel, Carrie, rejected 30 times, it has now sold over four million copies in paperback. Wilma Rudolf was a sickly child who wore a leg brace and later went on to win Olympic gold medals in track and field. Chance doesn’t get to control our lives unless we let it.

 

To make my point let’s look at 13 common superstitions and consider how much they really affect our lives.

  1. Finding a horse shoe: Good Luck
  2. Friday the 13th: Bad Luck
  3. Find a penny, pick it up…: Good Luck
  4. Black cats crossing your path: Bad Luck
  5. A rabbit’s foot: Good Luck
  6. Walking under a ladder: Bad Luck
  7. Knocking on wood: Good Luck
  8. Breaking a mirror: Bad Luck
  9. Making a wish on a wishbone: Good Luck
  10. Opening an umbrella indoors: Bad Luck
  11. Throwing coins in a fountain: Good Luck
  12. The number 13: Bad Luck
  13. Finding a four-leaf clover: Good Luck

 

Okay, do you really think that any one of these superstitions will have any bearing whatsoever on what happens as a result of doing, seeing or having them. Me nether.

There is something that we can do that will have a real bearing on the results, though. We can decide to DO SOMETHING.

We have a choice to use or neglect this powerful tool. If we don’t like something about who or where we are…we can do something about it. This doesn’t mean that we can stop all bad things from happening. It does mean that we can choose how we will respond and react. WE HAVE A CHOICE!

Choose to act, decide to do something.

Little Things Are What Big Things Are Made Of

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The Importance of Paying Attention to Details

 

Big things start out as little things. I’m sure that you’ve heard it said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I would argue the opposite. I think the small stuff is exactly what we should sweat. Little things accumulated over time are what big things are made of. The things we read, listen to, watch, eat, say, think, do, use, etc. become bigger and bigger even if we aren’t paying any attention to them. Sometimes especially when we aren’t.

Details are critical to every outcome. We start in one direction only to realize later that we aren’t where we wanted to be. Whether you’re building a model car, a building, a business or your life. You need to constantly be paying attention to the details to be sure things are proceeding the way you want.

 

1/16” is a measurement small enough that many people don’t even know where it is on a tape measure. This seemingly insignificant dimension can have a profound impact. When laying out a 100’ long building foundation, being off by just 1/16” in the first foot will increase to more than a 6” mistake in the end.

 

How about a little thing like a nail? What if when building a house, the builder decided that nails were too small to be concerned with. A detail that would take too much time to worry about. How well do you think that house would be built? A 1200 -1500 square foot house typically uses around 12,000 nails. That’s a lot of little things to leave out.

 

 

Often if someone sees a penny on the ground they will leave it there. It isn’t worth bending over and picking it up. It is just a penny, one cent. Most of us at some time have saved loose change in a piggy bank or a jar. It always amazed me how much could be accumulated in a relatively small period of time. The first banker that I met as a teenager told me, “If you take care of the pennies, the dollars will take care of themselves.” Another small thing that can make a big difference.

 

Time is another big thing made up of little things. There are 86,400 seconds in a 24-hour day. 86,400 is a big number, but that’s only 3,600 minutes per day. 60 seconds per minute multiplied by sixty minutes per hour multiplied by 24 hours per day. And that quickly 86,400 seconds have been spent. We all know how fast time goes, so we need to be intentional how we spend each and every one of the seconds which we have been given.

 

 

My Grandpa told me that “if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right”. Paying attention to the details is a part of doing things right

 

Paying attention to details is one of my core values. Find more about my other core values here:

https://www.solutionbuilding.net/using-core-values-as-my-life-filter/

https://www.solutionbuilding.net/getting-back-to-the-core/

https://www.solutionbuilding.net/the-importance-of-intentionality-for-building-your-dream-life/

https://www.solutionbuilding.net/taking-off-the-blinders-helps-you-see-the-big-picture/

 

A book full of examples of little things that I would recommend reading, is “The Little Things, Why You Really SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff”, by Andy Andrews.

 

The Hard Truth About Solid Surface Flooring – Part 2

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Working Through the Questions to Get to the Right Answers

 

Last week we went through questions to ask when looking for the right solid surface flooring. I pointed out the importance of starting with the why. Then I went through an overview of the other questions – product choices, appearance, durability, cleaning and maintenance, price, installation options, location and the ability to be repaired.

This week we will go into the attributes of the different solid surface products that are currently available:

  • Solid wood – is lumber cut from trees. It normally ranges in thickness from ½” to ¾”. It typically has a tongue and groove on the sides and ends. It usually is nailed down through the tongue which hides the fastener. It can also be glued down. Because it’s the same material all the way through it can be sanded down and refinished in the future.

 

  • Engineered wood – is similar to solid wood in that wood is the primary material. The difference is that it is manufactured in layers with the grain alternating direction and glued together. Engineered wood might be as thin as 3/8” up to ¾”. Like the solid wood it usually has a tongue and groove and can be installed either by nailing or by gluing. Some engineered wood has a thick enough top layer to allow for refinishing, but often the top finished layer is too thin for refinishing to be done.

 

  • Bamboo – is manufactured flooring made from the bamboo plant. It is typically made by slicing mature bamboo poles into strips. Then these strips are cut into the desired lengths and widths, the outer skin and nodes are removed, and the strips are boiled in a solution of boric acid or lime to remove the sugar and starch. After it has been dried and planed the strips are laminated together, milled, sanded and finished creating the planks with either vertical or horizontal grain. Bamboo can be installed either with an interlocking joint system, nailed or glued. This product can be refinished however staining bamboo can be a challenge.

 

  • Laminated – is a multi-layered synthetic flooring product. It is usually composed of melamine resin and a fiberboard inner core material with a photographic visible layer and covered with a clear protective layer similar to plastic laminate counter tops. It can have many different patterns resembling wood or ceramic tile. It ranges from ¼” to ½” thick and is often made using recycled materials. It is fastened together with a tongue and groove or snap together process. This flooring then floats over an underlayment and essentially becomes one continuous piece covering the entire room. Due to the type of finished surface it cannot be refinished.

 

  • Ceramic tile – Is made from clay that has been shaped and then is fired in a kiln. Then it is glazed and fired a second time. It is offered in a variety of shapes, sizes and finishes. It is currently even available in a wood grained finish. It has the most durable finish but is brittle and can break or chip especially if not supported well. Installation of this product is done by adhering it to either a concrete slab or concrete board subfloor with a troweled on thinset mortar. After the adhesive has cured the joints are filled with a complementary colored grout.

 

  • Luxury Vinyl – should not be confused with either sheet vinyl or the self-adhesive tile squares that used to be installed in homes. This product is made of resilient polyvinyl chloride (PVC) with a top layer of urethane. It comes in planks (to look like traditional wood floors), tiles (that can look like ceramic, stone, granite, marble, etc.) and is even available in patterns that resemble carpet squares. Luxury vinyl will range from 2mm to 5mm thick. It can be installed either in a snap together floating system or glued down.

 

  • Sheet vinyl – is made from PVC the same as the luxury vinyl. It comes in rolls normally wide enough to do complete rooms without seams. This product is available in a variety of stamped patterns, some even resemble wood grain. The thickness of sheet vinyl is 10-30 mils (mils are a thousandth of an inch). This product is installed with either a full glue or perimeter glue process. Due to the thinness of this product it requires a smooth underlayment underneath.

 

I hope this explanation of these products helps you to better understand them and their differences. Next week we will dig deeper into comparable questions and what the pros and cons are.

The Hard Truth About Solid Surface Flooring – Part 1

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You Need to Ask the Right Questions If You Want to Get the Right Answers

 

Over the last several years floorcovering has gone from a few simple choices to so many that it can make your head spin. It used to be that carpet, sheet vinyl and wood were your main options. Now the number of various products, styles and finishes are overwhelming. Currently the trend is moving more and more to the solid surface products.

When working with customers, I point out these differences and help them work through the process of choosing the right flooring product for their specific situation. Many times, they thought they knew what they wanted until I start asking them questions.

As always, the best place to start is why. Why are you going to install new flooring? Is it necessary, i.e. no flooring or because what’s there now is worn out. Is it because you want a new fresh look? Whatever the reason you want/need new floorcovering, you need to begin with a clear why.

 

Once you have determined your why, then the real head spinning can begin.

 

When determining which solid surface product to use, these questions should be answered:

  • Product choices. Here is a list of the main solid surface products on the market today –

    • Solid wood
    • Engineered wood
    • Bamboo
    • Plastic laminated
    • Ceramic tile
    • Luxury vinyl
    • Sheet vinyl

  • Appearance –

    • How it looks. Does it appear real or artificial?
    • How it feels to the touch?
    • How it feels when walking on it?
    • How it sounds when walking on it?

 

  • Durability –

    • What is the wear surface?
    • What is the life expectancy?
    • Does furniture cause indentions?

 

  • Cleaning and maintenance –

    • Does it require any special product for cleaning?
    • Will it need to be mopped?
    • Does it have beveled edges or grout joints?
    • How smooth is the surface?

 

  • Price –

    • Initial product cost?
    • Installation cost?
    • Longevity costs?
    • Misc. related costs, special trims, transitions etc.?

 

  • Installation methods and requirements –

    • Nail down?
    • Glue down?
    • Floating?
    • Underlayment?

 

  • Location to be installed –

    • Wood subfloor or concrete?
    • Room (kitchen, bathroom or living space)?
    • Below grade (basement)?
    • Traffic (foot or rolling furniture)?
    • Interior or exterior?

 

  • Ability to be repaired –

    • Can a single piece be removed and replaced?
    • Can it be refinished?

 

Just going through this list is a lot to digest. To keep your head from spinning too far today, we’ll stop here for now. Next week we will go into the specifics of the different products and how they can either solve your flooring problem or become the problem.

Here are some links to various solid surface products.

Designer’s Expo

Mannington

Daltile

Emser

If you have any specific questions about the products or topics listed here or would like to discuss some other product(s) contact us in the comment section below.

Who Should I Blame for Being Too Busy?

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Too Much to Do Is, “Self-Inflicted Pain”

 

I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.

We had all heard someone say this or said it ourselves and for sure we have all felt it. Just over the last few days there have been numerous times in a variety of situations that I have heard it.

One of the discussions about this had to do with someone who was self-employed. This person’s family couldn’t understand why they couldn’t do some additional things around the house. They had extra time because, after all, they were self-employed. Another conversation was with a business owner. They said they hoped they wouldn’t need to work on the upcoming Father’s Day, because they had already worked the last fourteen days. Then he said, “but if that’s what it takes, I guess I will”.

This struggle is nothing new. I would venture to say this has been a problem since Adam. Can you imagine how overwhelmed he felt when God brought all the animals of the earth to him and he named them all. (Genesis 2, 19-20)

I know this is SELF-INFLICTED. It’s 8:30 PM on a Friday evening as I’m writing this. It will still be another hour or two before I get this finished and posted.

WHY?

We all know that there is a fixed amount of time so why is it that we’re always over filling it? Even less ambitious and less driven people complain about not having enough time to do everything they want to.

This brawl we’re in, trying to do more and more and running out of time is internal. It is SELF-INFLICTED. If this is the case, then we are the only ones that can do anything about it.

The first thing that we must do is understand who’s responsible for this situation. Next, decide if we want things to change. If so, then we need to evaluate the things that are filling up that time and decide what to keep and what to eliminate. Then there’s the hard one…learning to SAY NO. Ouch, that’s gonna hurt.

There is something about self-driven people. They’re always over filling their time with more than they can get done. If we don’t want this battle to continue then we are going to have to start practicing some self-control, self-restraint and self-discipline.

We have the power within our-SELF to take control of this.

Here’s an acronym to help you remember that if the problem is SELF-INFLICTED you can find the Solution, be Empowered and Live Fully without being overwhelmed.

Solution

Empowered

Living

Fully