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Mark Eastman

What Does the Customer’s Piece of The Etiquette Puzzle Look Like?

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You Have A Responsibility in This Process Too

The last two Weekly Solutions have been about the missing pieces of the etiquette puzzle, mostly from a business perspective. Today we are going to look at the customer’s responsibility in this.

The customer’s piece isn’t much different from that of the contractor’s.

Customer etiquette to the contractor:

  • Clear vision of the finished project –

Know what you want. This is less about the specifics and more about what you hope to accomplish with the project. A good contractor will guide you through the process of turning your dream into a reality, but you need to know what that dream is.

  • Clear communication –

All good relationships require input from everyone. This starts with clear communication. Be as clear as possible when you share your vision with your contractor. Find pictures of ideas, designs, finishes, color, etc. that you like and share them with your contractor.

  • Ask questions –

If you don’t understand something about the project, ask. This is part of the communication process. Contractors aren’t mind readers. Because they do this work daily, they forget that the customer doesn’t. This can lead to unspoken assumptions by both parties.

  • Share any specific requests –

If there are things that the contractor needs to be aware of while working on your project, i.e. parking, doors to use, thermostat settings, pet arrangements, etc. let your contractor know.

  • Have the job site ready for work to begin –

Unless the agreement with your contractor includes moving furniture, decorations, etc. you should have this done before the crews show up to start work.


  • Treat the contractor the way you want to be treated –

Just because you hired your contractor to do the work doesn’t mean they are machines or slaves. They are people just like you. Treat them with the respect that they deserve.

 Last week I shared Stefaney Rants’ blog post, Construction Etiquette. In it she points out customer’s etiquette to neighbors.

  • Inform your neighbors of what is being done and when.  Give them a week’s notice (which is realistic since construction schedules are often hard to nail down) in the form of a letter or informing them in person.
  • Let them know what portion of the property/house is having work done so the neighbors can prepare themselves.  They might need to move their outdoor furniture because of traveling sawdust or can’t leave their pets outside with the loud noise from the equipment.
  • Reassure them their parking spots won’t be blocked if possible and their landscaping won’t be trampled.  It’s also a good idea to suggest they park their cars in their garage in case debris flies around.
  • Offer to give them a tour when the construction is completed.  Everyone loves a good before/after reveal!

I’d never thought about this. It makes sense, this is the way that I would like to be treated if I were your neighbor.

As a contractor I hadn’t thought much about the customer’s responsibility in this. I have always approached etiquette as it being my duty. It makes sense that we each approach things from our own point of view. Problems arise when we forget to consider other’s ideas, wishes and dreams.

Principles Are Like A GPS For Life

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They Help Us Get Where We Want to Go

Making our way through the difficulties of life can be hard. There are bumps, unexpected turns, detours and road blocks. When we start the journey, we think we know exactly where we’re going and how we’re going to get there. Surprise!

If we just had a map and GPS for this road trip called life it would be so much easier. Well what do you know…we do. Life’s map is the Bible and the GPS is our core values and principles.

When we pick up a map for the first time, we don’t understand everything about it. The more we study and use the map to get us where we’re going, the better we get at making the trip. The Bible is the same.

We all have core values and principles whether we know it or not. Like a GPS in our car or smart phone if we aren’t aware of it or don’t put in the coordinates it won’t help us get where we want to go.

Core values are the foundation on which we conduct ourselves. In an ever-changing world – core values are consistent. They underlie our work, how we interact with others, and help us to fulfill our mission. A principle is the fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. Once we become aware of these core values and principles…99% of our decisions are already made.

This week’s Scripture (road map), Luke 6:27-38, has always been hard for me to fully understand. It talks about loving your enemies, letting them slap you on both cheeks, giving them your coat and your shirt, giving things to them and not asking for them back. It says love your enemies and do good to them. I always felt that I had treated others the way I wanted to be treated. What I figured out from this week’s sermon was that I never really have had to deal with an “enemy”.

When Pastor Lee told a story of a Michael Weisser a Jewish Rabbi who in 1991 was harassed in Lincoln, Nebraska, by Mr. Trapp, a Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, the meaning of the word enemy took on a whole new meaning. After getting hateful phone calls, Rabbi Weiser turned things around by calling Mr. Trapp and harassing him back with love. One day the Weisser’s phone rang and it was Mr. Trapp. He said, ‘I want to get out of what I’m doing and I don’t know how’. This is how you’re supposed to love your enemies.

I’ve never experienced someone treating me like this. I hope that if I do, I will be able to “love my enemy” this way.

When people filled with hate haven’t found their life road map and GPS, they don’t understand when they are confronted with love. The best way to help them is to “Love Them Until They Ask Me Why”.

A Missing Piece of The Puzzle

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What Ever Happened to Contractor Etiquette?

Last week I wrote about etiquette after a friend had a plumber spit tobacco juice in her sink while they were talking. The lack of professional conduct (especially in the building industry) baffles me. As I have been considering this topic it’s become apparent to me that this piece of the professional puzzle is missing and needs to be found.

Where has this important piece of the business relationship puzzle gone?

It’s easy to find, but hard to put in place. This puzzle piece is right here in each of us. The problem is the unawareness that it’s even missing. We’ve become so busy in this fast paced, need to get things done life, that we’ve become self-centered. Not necessarily in an intentional knocking people out of my way selfishness. Its more production focused rather than people focused. As I think back on situations that I’ve witness or heard of, it is apparent that this problem needs attention. Whether it’s –

  • Standing in a customer’s upholstered chair using it for a ladder
  • Leaving an electric circuit turned off over a weekend which had a customer’s freezer plugged in to it
  • Laying down after lunch and taking a nap on a customer’s couch
  • Throwing food trash in the void behind a stone veneer and leaving it or
  • Spitting tobacco juice in a sink

As professionals it is up to us to do something about this.

So, what are we going to do?

The first thing is to be aware of the problem. If we ignore it, it won’t go away, it will continue to get worse. This means that we need to hold each other accountable for our actions. As professionals, if we see something unacceptable being done, we need to call each other out with respect and in private. This isn’t about public humiliation. It’s about raising the bar. The difficult thing is my acceptable behavior and yours may be different. That’s why we need to find a reasonable standard.

Here’s a good place to start –

GOLDEN RULES FOR CONSTRUCTION CONTRACTORS

  1. If you open it, close it.
  2. If you turn it on, turn it off.
  3. If you unlock it, lock it up.
  4. If you break it, admit it.
  5. If you can’t fix it, call in someone who can.
  6. If you borrow it, return it.
  7. If you value it, take care of it.
  8. If you make a mess clean it up.
  9. If you move it, put it back.
  10. If it belongs to someone else and you want to use it, get permission.
  11. If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone.
  12. If it’s none of your business, stay out of it.
  13. If it will brighten someone’s day, say it.
  14. If it will tarnish someone’s reputation, keep it to yourself.

Okay…so these are the same as the Golden Rules for Living in last week’s post. If they make sense for life, they make sense for business.

In my research I came across a Construction Etiquette blog post by Stefaney Rants. She points out some specific etiquette for the contractor to the customer.

  • Return calls, send contracts in advance, sign papers in a timely manner.
  • Be on time!  If you are going to be late, call the home owner.
  • Keep the job site “clean”.  Have the crew pick up their lunch trash and water bottles.  Ask the home owner for recycling bins.  Dust will be expected, but use a plastic tarp if possible to contain the dust and/or clean some areas if it gets out of hand, like on the home owners grill for example.
  • Be aware of landscaping.  Don’t park on flower beds or other plants.
  • If something breaks, let the home owner know!  You want to keep a good reputation and the home owner will definitely tell their friends about your work.

She also lists some etiquette for the customer to the contractor. Next week we will approach this missing puzzle piece from that perspective.

Contractors – start working on your business relationships – the BAR IS BEING RAISED.

Happiness Is An Inside Job

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Too much of the time we are looking for happiness from things on the outside. Happiness is not dependent on health, wealth or food. It’s not that there is anything wrong with having any of these things. The problem is when they become our focus, ‘they have us’. What is important is our focus. It should be on God not on things of the world. Our happiness comes from a right relationship with God.

In Luke 6:17-26 we find the Beatitudes, sometimes called the “Sermon on the Plain”. This is a shorter teaching similar to the “Sermon on the Mount” in Matthew. It has been said that these Beatitudes turned things upside down. This is true from a worldly perspective. When asked about the Beatitudes, E. Stanley Jones replied, “First you think they have turned everything upside down. Then you realize they have turned everything right side up.” The Amplified Version of this Scripture does a great job of turning it right side up and providing a spiritual understanding of this scripture.

Being happy is a choice. We can decide to be happy or not. Deciding to be happy doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen because they will. The difference is how we handle these things. On the surface one would presume that lottery winners would be much happier than paralyzed accident victims, but studies show this to not necessarily be the case.

Living life focused on ourselves is a recipe for disappointment. Our purpose is to serve others, not to a point of neglecting ourselves, but rather by using our gifts. In 1 Peter 4:10 it says, “God has shown you his grace in many different ways. So be good servants and use whatever gift he has given you in a way that will best serve each other.” The recipe for happiness is pleasure, engagement and meaning. All of these things are found in serving others.

Focusing our lives on God is the key to unlocking the door to happiness.

What in The World Does Etiquette Mean Anyway?

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It Means Treating Others the Way We Want to Be Treated

Or at least the way we SHOULD want to be treated. I had a conversation with a friend recently about an experience they had with a plumber. While they were standing in the kitchen talking about the project, the plumber spit tobacco juice in her kitchen sink. Not just once mind you, but 3-4 times! He at least had the courtesy to turn the water on and rinse out the sink.

I wonder if his wife let’s him spit in the sink at home?

While I was talking with this friend, I thought out loud, what has happened to contractor etiquette? The more I’ve thought about it since then, the more examples of this kind of ‘bad behavior’ have come to mind.

I think we may be reverting to barbarians.

The word etiquette often brings to mind high-society, pinky out, knowing which fork to use, thoughts. Things that the ‘common man’ knows little about and may intentionally try to avoid. However, etiquette is about much more than a snooty, better than others attitude.

Definition of etiquette:

  1. Conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
  2. The code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other:

So, what exactly is etiquette in real life, everyday terms? In an article by Robin Bickerstaff, “Etiquette includes having a strong moral code of conduct. The basics include allowing personal space, following the Golden Rule (treat others as you wish to be treated), obeying the 10 Commandments, and respect for elders.” This sounds simple enough.

We are aware of the Golden Rule. The principle of “Do to others what you would want them to do to you.”, taught by Jesus. Most of us were taught this simple principle as kids…what happened?

I think much of the problem is a self-centered, socially disconnected, lack of human respect. We tend to put our own wants ahead of others. Either we have never had or have forgotten any code of moral conduct.

During a recent children’s message at church I was reminded of the Golden Rules for Living. These are things that I was taught as a kid. When thinking through the list I realized that I still strive to use these as rules as a way to live. There are a variety of variations of these rules, but if we would live by even a few, there would be less spitting of tobacco juice in customer’s sinks.

Golden Rules for Living

  1. If you open it, close it.
  2. If you turn it on, turn it off.
  3. If you unlock it, lock it up.
  4. If you break it, admit it.
  5. If you can’t fix it, call in someone who can.
  6. If you borrow it, return it.
  7. If you value it, take care of it.
  8. If you make a mess clean it up.
  9. If you move it, put it back.
  10. If it belongs to someone else and you want to use it, get permission.
  11. If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone.
  12. If it’s none of your business, stay out of it.
  13. If it will brighten someone’s day, say it.
  14. If it will tarnish someone’s reputation, keep it to yourself.

Not everybody’s moral code is going to be identically the same. We are all different which means our ethical behaviors will be different. Being different is good. The problem is most professionals, (especially in the building industry) have learned their trade, but not how to operate a business. The business portion includes the human interaction of proper business etiquette.

I’m going to compile a list of contractor’s rules for etiquette. So, if you have any examples of bad contractor behavior, please share them in the comments below.

Here are some additional examples of what contractor etiquette should look like:

Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things

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Rev. Paulin started his message with a story from a church where he used to pastor. During the children’s time there was a small boy struggling to get free from his parents to go up front with the rest of the children. After children’s time was over and the kids had returned to their seats, he managed to get free and ran to the front of the church and sat down on the steps. Of course the embarrassed father came to get him but Rev. Paulin held the father off and went and set beside him. Rev. Paulin was preparing to read the morning’s scripture so he read it to the boy. After he was finished the boy went with his Dad back to his seat.

We all need to be this determined to hear God’s message and take action!

Isaiah has a vision in Chapter 6, Verses 1-8. He saw God surrounded by heavenly creatures. Upon seeing this “Vison of God”, Isaiah was convinced he was going die. He felt dirty and unworthy to be in God’s presence. One of the creatures took a hot coal from the alter and touched it to Isaiah’s lips and his sin was taken away. The Lord asked who can I send and Isaiah said, “Here I am. Send Me!” Now not only did Isaiah have a “Vision of God” he had God’s vision and was told to “Go and tell this to the people…”.

In Luke 5:1-11, when people began to crowd around Jesus beside the lake of Galilee, He got in a boat and went a ways off shore to speak to them. When He had finished speaking, He told Simon “take the boat to deep water and put down your nets. Simon told Jesus that they had been fishing all night and hadn’t caught anything. But because Jesus told them to, they did. They caught so many fish that the nets began to tear. Their partners came and helped them and they filled both boats. After this happened Simon said, “Go away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man!” Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will fish for people.” When they got back to shore, “the men left everything and followed Jesus. They realized they were seeing a “Vision of God”.

When we are in God’s presence we become very aware of our shortcomings. But, in both of the scriptures God is calling ordinary men to serve in His name. We often feel inadequate to do God’s work, but that is what we are all called to do. He doesn’t just tap us on the shoulder and send us out alone. He goes with us. When God’s presence takes over, anything is possible. This doesn’t mean we’re perfect, it means we’re impowered.

Rev. Paulin included the Prayer of St. Ignatius and I think it is a fitting request for all of us.

“A Vison of God” allows ordinary people to do extraordinary things. It’s up to you to do extraordinary.

What Does It Mean to Be Successful?

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It’s Not What People Normally Think

Success, true success is anything but normal. Dave Ramsey says, “If You want to succeed, you’ve got to be weird.” It is hard to be different. Standing out and being different opens us up to criticism and ridicule. It’s much easier and safer to blend in and go with the flow. To just be normal.

God doesn’t want us to be normal. He made each of us different and unique (Psalm 139:14) and put each of us here for a specific purpose (Romans 8:28). It is up to us to search out and learn what our individual purpose is.

Discovering our true purpose is success.

Normally success is seen as fortune and fame. Even the definition of success includes, “The attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.” If we see these things as success and don’t accomplish them, we see ourselves as failures. We are only failures when we stop seeking our true purpose. So, we’ve got to hang in there.

The world’s idea of success is short sighted and selfish. It’s about what’s in it for me. God’s idea of success is different. It’s about using the skills and abilities I’ve been given to help others. Specifically, in my case, to help others build their dreams.

So, how do we figure out what our purpose is? First, ask that very question. What is my purpose? And then we ask it again and again… Asking the question is the first step to success. The question is more important than the answer. Asking this question is necessary to start. Then we can dig deeper with more questions. If we don’t ask questions we will stay stuck in the mundane routine of doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome.

These questions start with the most common question asked by kids…WHY.

Why am I here?

Somewhere along the way, in an effort to be normal, we quit asking why. As children we are naturally curious. If we want to be successful, we need to get back to that childlike curiosity.

The why question is where we dig down deep to find the solid foundation that our success will be built on.

After asking why, comes what, how, when, who, where. Asking these questions is hard. Almost as hard as reading the 5Ws out of their normal order. But then we are trying to be successful, not normal. The order I have them in is more appropriate when it has to do with success. The most important thing is to be intentional about asking questions in whatever order works. Asking questions opens our mind up to new ideas.

The answers to these questions won’t magically appear once they’ve been asked. Being successful and finding our purpose is not an end unto itself. Both are a process of seeking answers and should continue as long as we’re alive. There is not some point in life when we arrive at our final destination (like retirement). Success is the process of seeking our purpose and as long as we’re breathing, we should be asking questions.

DON’T BE NORMAL – BE SUCCESSFUL!

Hang In There!

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It is hard to “Hang In There”. Holding on for dear life with the weight of the world on our shoulders. It’s lonely hanging there all by ourselves as our arms get more and more tired. We just want to let go. DON’T LET GO!

We forget or are unaware that we don’t have to do it alone. There are others around who will help us and who we can help (“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2). Not to mention God’s willingness to help carry the load (“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28).

Success isn’t the absence of failure, it’s the perseverance to continue moving forward in spite of it. Successful people fail consistently, over and over. A few examples are Walt Disney, JK Rowling and Steve King, all who were told that they couldn’t do what they ultimately did. They “hung in there”. Even Jesus had failures, i.e. when the people of His home town didn’t believe Him and took Him to a cliff at the edge of town with intentions of throwing Him over, Luke 4:14-30. Consequently Jesus did very few miracles in His home town. Do we put these same restrictions on miracles God would do for us?

Popularity is often how success is judged, but it’s a poor way to rate success. If we don’t feel popular or are passed over for a job we feel like failures. Rejection is hard to take, but Jesus was rejected. Just look at how His hometown treated Him. One of the tools in the Devils arsenal is rejection. If we get down and stay down we will never succeed.

 Persistence is the key that unlocks the door to success so “Hang In There”!

How Do You Make Your Dream Become A Reality?

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It’s A Choice You Make…Or Not!

It doesn’t matter if you’re dreaming about building a new home, a successful business or a great life, you have to choose to make them a reality. The importance of intentionality to dreams is critical to the outcome.

This week I’ve been working on finalizing the proposal for my niece Hannah’s out of the box home. This is the dream house that is going to be built using salvaged grain bins and some conventional construction. We began discussing this project a year ago. Some will think that’s taking too long. It’s important to realize that dreams don’t magically become a reality overnight. Dream building is a process that requires time.

There are 5 things needed when choosing to turn a dream into a reality:

1st you need to realize that it’s your responsibility. You’re responsible for your dreams becoming a reality. This doesn’t mean that crazy unrealistic dreams will happen (see needs 2 and 3). On the other hand too often we let our own limiting beliefs keep our dreams from becoming a reality. You are the only one who can control your own thoughts. Our thinking dictates our decisions and we are where we are because of those decisions…good or bad.

2nd you need clarity of purpose. I believe our dreams are one of the ways God tells us what His plans are for our lives. If we believe what it says in Jeremiah 29:11, “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.” If our dreams are in alignment with God’s plans, then there is no reason they shouldn’t become a reality. God will move mountains to make our dreams real. It’s up to us to be ready to move ourselves.

           

3rd you need guidance. Often when building dreams, we are going into unfamiliar territory. Whether it’s building your first home or starting a new business, you probably won’t have the experience or knowledge needed. Dream building can be a lot safer and more fun if you have an experienced guide. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t go climb a mountain with out a guide that had been there and done that.

4th you need to act. A dream won’t just build itself, it requires action. This is one of the scariest things about turning dreams into reality. People generally approach action in one of two ways. Either they jump right in without thinking or they don’t do anything while over thinking it. Experienced guidance can help balance these opposing positions and help you to move forward with your dream while minimizing disasters. When faced with doing nothing or doing something you better choose to act if you ever want your dream to become a reality.

5th you need to persist. I think this is the most important one. If you ever hope to get your dream built you will need persistence. There will be disappointments that will cause you to want to quit. There will be times when you are so tired you don’t think you can do one more thing. You can begin to convince yourself that it wasn’t real…it was just a dream. This is the point where most dreams die. Somehow successful people continue moving forward when others quit. Sometimes God see’s fit to give us a wakeup call.

As Hannah and I work together to build this project it will be the building of two dreams, both hers and mine. We will each take RESPONSIBILITY for our part. We will continue sorting things out and finding the CLARITY for the dream. We will accept and give GUIDANCE when and where needed. We will intentionally ACT to keep moving closer to the completion of those dreams. Above all we choose to PERSIST and never quit until our dreams become reality.

If you or someone you know needs help finding solutions for building dreams, contact us in the comment section below.

Today, The Scripture Has Been Fulfilled In Your Hearing

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The Bible can seem like an old history book. Full of things that are irrelevant to us today. This could not be further from the truth.

Sure it’s a book full of history…but it’s so much more. It is the “Living Word”. John 1:1-4 says, “1In the beginning there was the Word. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 All things were made by him, and nothing was made without him. 4 In him there was life, and that life was the light of all people.” (NCV) Jesus is not just the Jesus of the Bible, He is the Jesus of our lives today.

History is important, but we need to be careful to not let history cause us to forget the present and the future. In this week’s scripture, Luke 4:14-20, Jesus had returned to His home town of Nazareth where He had grown up. While there He was teaching one Sabbath and read these words from the book of Isaiah; 18 “The Lord has put his Spirit in me, because he appointed me to tell the Good News to the poor. He has sent me to tell the captives they are free and to tell the blind that they can see again. Isaiah 61:1 God sent me to free those who have been treated unfairly Isaiah 58:6 19  and to announce the time when the Lord will show his kindness.” Isaiah 61:2 (NCV)

Jesus goes on to say in verse 21 that  “Today, This Scripture Has Been Fulfilled in Your Hearing”.  This fulfillment didn’t stop with the people who were there physically. It is still being fulfilled in our hearing of it today and tomorrow and the next day.

Then in verse 22 the people who were initially pretty impressed by His reading, began to have second thoughts about this. They remembered Him as the son of a carpenter who grew up in their midst. They were letting their history of Jesus cause them to not see the present or the future.

You may have heard it said that we all have a Jesus shape void in our lives. We all have had the feeling that something is missing. Many people don’t realize that it’s God. They may try to fill that hole with everything but God. He is the only thing that will fit. If you haven’t done so already you should test Him to see how He fits. The Scripture is a great instruction manual for this.

Remember that today, the Scripture is being fulfilled in your hearing. So be sure to listen to it.